


too well

by mrpascals



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpascals/pseuds/mrpascals
Summary: You have a nightmare and seek comfort into your lover's arms.
Relationships: The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/You
Comments: 11
Kudos: 94





	too well

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the redamancy universe but is set in a different point in the timeline.

“I’m not gonna make it,” He says, panting. “Go.”

You shake your head, frowning. “Stop, you’re okay.”

Resting a hand on his chest plate and another on the back of his head, you try to help him to stand but stop your movements when you feel something wet on your hand. It’s blood. His blood painting your fingers. Your face goes pale and your hands start to shake.

“We need to take this thing off,” Cara says from behind you, watching you both as you stare at each other. She reaches past you and tries to go for his helmet, but you stop her before she can touch him.

“No,” You both say in unison. She gives you a glance, an angry look.

“He’ll die!” Her voice trembles and her breath is shaky and you notice that, maybe, she cares about him as much as you do. Perhaps less than you do, but still cares about him. You stare at her, your breath shaking as well and you swallow.

“I know.” It’s a whisper, Cara almost doesn’t hear it.

“You protect him, okay?” He says to you. “Get him to safety. Take care of him.”

Nodding through blurry vision, you let out a sob as you take his hand and press his palm on your cheek. You know he’s crying too, his voice is choked up as he speaks.

"Let me have a warrior’s death." His voice trembles through the modulator.

You clutch the bag tight to your chest. The baby is still passed out and you're glad he doesn't have to see it.

"We won’t leave you," Cara says from behind you.

“This is the way.”

You want to scream, curse him, call him selfish, slap him. But you don't. It's his choice and you know you have to respect it. His name almost leaves your lips as you let out a sob.

"Go," He says, taking the necklace from his neck and handing it to you. "They know you, they'll let you in."

You open your mouth but not a sound comes out, so you just lean down to touch your forehead to his helmet.

" _Cyare_ ," He whispers. "I love you."

You don’t say it back. You try but no sound leaves your mouth as you turn around and leave him without looking back. You think you’ll hesitate to step inside the tunnel but you don’t. You just walk into darkness, clutching the baby on your chest as if your life depends on it. Right now, you think it does. He’s all you have left. 

_Fight now, mourn later_ , you keep telling yourself as you walk further down. You're alone now. Just you and the baby.

…

You open your eyes slowly and let out a breath. The bed is warm, you hear breathing beside you but you still reach out to touch him, just to make sure. Swallowing, you sigh in relief as your hand makes contact with the warm skin of his chest.

Din is okay. He’s alive. You’re home.

Staying like this for awhile, you take a deep breath before rolling over to face him. Tucking your hands under your chin, you watch as Din sleeps peacefully, his chest rising and falling slowly, his mouth partially open, soft snores echoing the room.

They’re not nightmares. They’re memories. And you hate them. You hate that you keep dreaming about that day.

Almost losing Din wasn’t the only thing you hated about that dreadful day. You hate that you were the one who came out with the plan that killed Kuiil. You hate that Cara was the one who dragged Din out of the battlefield when he was hurt. You hate that you left him there to die on his own. You hate that you didn’t say it back.

He could’ve been gone forever and you’d blame yourself forever for not saying you loved him. Din knows, of course, you’ve been together for so long, you’ve said the words a million times even before then. But for some reason you didn’t at that exact moment. The moment he would take his last breath, the moment he needed to hear it the most.

Your eyes water as you roll over to the other side and sit on the bed, trying to hold back the tears. Despite dreaming about it almost every night, you never told him about the nightmares that haunt you. So when he wakes up to the sounds of your muffled sobs, he’s confused.

“ _Cyare_.” He calls you in Mando’a and you hold your breath, surprised by his voice. “What’s wrong?” He’s sitting on the bed now, rushing to your side. “Why are you crying?”

You swallow, glancing over your shoulder and shaking your head. “I’m s-sorry.” You try to speak. “I didn’t m-mean to wake– to wake you–”

Din’s hands find your face and he wipes the tears off your cheeks as he cradles your head with the other, massaging your scalp, his fingers between the locks of your hair.

“Tell me what’s wrong, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft that it makes your eyes tear up again. “Was it a nightmare?”

Nodding, you lean forward to rest your head on his shoulder. He welcomes you, as he always does, but doesn’t say a word, knowing you need time. He waits as you take a couple of deep breaths and then look back at him.

“It’s always about that day in Nevarro,” You say, after a moment in silence. “When you– You almost–” You sigh in frustration, letting the tears fall again. “I’m sorry, this is stupid.” You wipe them quickly and shake your head. “Let’s j-just sleep.”

“Hey, no.” He grabs your wrists before you can move. “Tell me. Please.”

Hesitant, you look back at him again. He knows you too well and sometimes you think it’s a curse.

“Back in Nevarro, when you almost died.” Your voice doesn’t falter this time. “When I almost lost you. I always thought I’d fight with teeth and nails before I’d have to let you go. But back then, I– I just left. I didn’t–” You swallow the tears, trying to hold them back. “I didn’t even say I loved you back.”

Din blinks as you try your best to hold your tears to not sound like a child, crying to her parents about a stupid nightmare. What happened, happened. It’s all in the past and he’s here now, with you, it doesn’t matter what you did. But why do you keep dreaming about it, then? Why can’t you let go?

“Sweetheart…” He takes your hand presses your palm against his cheek. “I hold no resentment against you. You were doing what was best for the little one.”

You swallow, feeling the stupidest child in the galaxy. “Told you it was stupid.”

“It’s not.” He stared at you in the dark of the room for a moment, before pulling you into his arms. “Come here.”

The warmth of his skin calms you down instantly as it makes contact with yours. Your head settles comfortably on his shoulder and you breathe in his scent.

“If there’s someone that should be guilty, is me,” He mumbles, lips on your hair. “I made you leave me. I shouldn’t had.”

“This is the way.” Your voice trembles, remembering his words from that day.

A beat of silence follows; you can tell he’s hesitating.

“If this is the way, then I don’t want it.”

You pull back from him abruptly, looking into his eyes with shock on your face.

“Don’t say that.” Your voice is demanding, much more like the tone you use with the Child when you’re scolding him. “Don’t _ever_ say that again.”

Din looks back at you, a little surprised by the tone you’re using with him. He places a palm on your thigh, softening his look and offering you a small smile.

“You weren’t the only one who almost lost someone that day, _cyar'ika._ If I had just let Cara–”

“Stop.” You interrupt him. “You’re here now. That’s all what matters.”

He gives you a look you know too well. The look he gives you when he’s teasing you or being a piece of work on purpose: raised brows, soft eyes and a smile. You almost roll your eyes and shake your head, suppressing a grin.

“Point taken,” You mumble in defeat, after a moment of realization.

Din Djarin knows you too well. He understands you too well. Sometimes you wonder what did you do to deserve someone like him as a partner. Maybe you don’t. Maybe he’s too good for you. But he still chooses you. Every single time.

“Let’s get some sleep, okay?” He whispers hovering his lips on your forehead. “Maker knows you need it.”

As you both get back to under the blanket, you lay your head on his shoulder and wrap an arm around his torso. He holds your hand as you close your eyes, tears now dry. You sigh, pulling him closer to you, as if it is possible. And then you drift into a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

One you’ve been longing for weeks now.


End file.
